Bright Yellow Bus Stops

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For those who are seeing these bright yellow “bus stops” pop up around town and didn’t know what they were, they’re micro homeless shelters. They’re donated by the United Way and promoted by Kobe Bryant to raise aware men for their Homewalk to end homelessness.

Last night we saw so many people who were utterly freezing. One man had crawled up in a ball UNDER the W Hotel. Hollywood Blvd. was near empty. For many, Los Angeles signals the idea of palm trees and sunshine, but from now until February we often get down into 30 degree temperatures at night.

Love you for this Kobes. Love you for this United Way. Anything you can do to help Homeless Outreach is always appreciated. Blankets and hoodies are especially welcomed this time of year.

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The Bite

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Imagine walking up on a 5yr old boy and his mother sitting on the street trying to entertain themselves to avoid listening to their hunger pains. Imagine that 5yr old jumping into your arms because you handed him a bag of cookies and a water. That’s exactly what we walked up on tonight. One of our first stops was to them. Gage’s mom shouted out our name and said “I love you guys! I’m so happy to see you” and that’s when Gage, the 5yr old, jumped up to hug us all. We got to chat with him, play with him and his mini super heroes and watching him chow down on snacks.

To even pretend that I know what it must be like for him and his mom would be offensive. The desperation she must feel, the terror of falling asleep, being on guard – I don’t think I could take it. I’d be absolutely bonkers. They had smiles on their faces. Astounding.

Prior to starting the night, I honestly couldn’t get a message out of me to save my life. I was blocked. What does that suggest? Pray. And so we did. In groups of 4, we got to pray out love, blessing and protection over one another. It was incredible and for the majority of the night it had seemed that it was an extra safeguard. That was until we came back around to Gage and his mom. There had been a woman with them earlier that seemed to be interviewing the mom and that was part of why we just played with Gage. This time she was doing everything in her power to calm him down. The team actually got to pray for and with them both. Shortly thereafter Gage just exploded. He burst out from his mom’s arms and went running down the Blvd., inching toward traffic.

Day 12 of a liquid fast or not, I’m obviously going to run after the kid. Dead sprints, 3 times, 90 yards at least each time. This kid is just trying to get attention – especially from someone other than his mom for a change. This was such a literal plea for love and attention. Or so I thought. Until he bit me on the shoulder 4 times. And then slapped me across the face twice. And then crapped his pants while I was holding him. Surprisingly, this isn’t my strangest story from Hollywood Blvd., but it did win the night.

There’s no reasoning with a child who is being hit with this kind of overwhelming reality in his life. I put him down and asked him to help him mom – to be good for her sake, to love her and cooperate so she could keep him safe. He had a moment where he pondered it, but instead tried to bite me again. Eventually he went back to his mom and she pretty much wrangled him into submission. Again, I can’t even process what she must be going through – let alone what his 5 year old brain is trying to make of all this. It’s heart breaking.

The Baptisms

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It’s not often that I reflect on what an impact the Homeless Outreach ministry has on the people we serve or how it affects the people on the team. I put my head down and do the work I was called to do. I care for my people a great deal and I believe that shows, but I don’t sit around talking about feelings or how I/we made a difference. It’s all great and there’s a time and place for it, but when I stop to think about it, I sob, I wail, I break. Something in me bursts – a dam of emotion gives way and I celebrate or grieve, I rejoice or hurt. I’m not saying that’s the healthiest way, but I am saying that it’s how I know to best serve. Make no mistake, sometimes, leaks happen and yesterday was a leak. I had the honor and humbling privilege to baptize 5 of the members of my team. It’s an overwhelming joy to see people publicly embrace Jesus – the Savior, the Healer, the Light, the Way. Knowing that it’s in Him that they rest and to Him that they look to for guidance. Not me, not the world, not their peers, but Jesus is their instinct, He is there Shepard.

Mind you, I went running immediately after the last baptism. I literally had to jump out of the pool, dripping wet, to hop in my car, drive 30 minutes to my next commitment – giving my testimony and a devotional to another team of people I am now called to help lead and motivate. I have the blessing of being a part of a Wellness Center Team (RZ Total Body Center) that helps people overcome injuries, illnesses and achieve total body fitness with nutrition, coaching, Eastern medicine and, of course, a bevy of fitness classes. It hadn’t dawned on me until this moment, as I was giving my testimony to these new faces, that I have stepped into full time ministry. Without even realizing what I accepted in taking on this job was a real and total commitment to living my life according to His will and to walking that out in front of a team of accountability. Everyday this fast becomes more confirmed. To be dramatic, it’s as if each day that I get through is a new level of awareness about it all – how to walk out these new plans, achieving breakthroughs, hearing wisdom, speaking scripture, praying out promise – it’s incredible and I’ve yet to feel any physical/”in the natural” effects of having gone without solid nutrition. Let’s be honest, there’s a whole blog about my fantasies surrounding beef ribs and how I’ll celebrate the end of the fast – I’m not denying that I’ve withstood cravings, attacks and tried to talk myself out of it, but the rewards of speaking those demons beneath my feet are incredible.

When I think of how many times I had considered walking away from my calling (again), it’s utterly terrifying. It’s enough to know that I’m capable of falling down that far that keeps me humble. None of us are perfect. We all face temptation, we all struggle and we all have sin, but it’s how we handle it – obedience to scripture, yielding ourselves to leadership, being honest with a community of safe people and rooting ourselves in a church family with a heart for us and how we build the house- is absolutely imperative. We’ll all be tried time and again. If I know anything it’s that our God is faithful, but our Enemy is persistent. And there’s a very real part of me that’s thankful for that. If it weren’t for the trials and the battery, there’s a good chance I’d take my God for granted and I’d be tempted to think that all of this was about me.

Looking back on the day, it took so many people to make that night happen. 265 people made the decision for Christ. There were 3 pools, dozens of people caring for the new believers, dozen more doing the baptizing, the check in the laundry to ensure everyone had towels and clothes if they’d made the decision on the spot, Pastor Philip who was obedient to the vision God put on his heart – every single person was necessary and every single person was used and blessed by God. It blows my mind. That’s Church. That’s community. It’s the people. It’s a collective agreement with God and working in unity to achieve His will.

I can’t compute sometimes. I get that gut punch, that lift in my brain that all says YES! Be still and know that I am!

Thankfully, while I was running between ministries, my Outreach Family who had just been baptized was having a family dinner. I got to hug them all just as they were leaving and at least got to celebrate them that much. To see the joy on their faces and the laughter amongst them was one of the best ways I have ever ended a night. I went to bed riding such a high that I woke up still smiling this morning. I couldn’t be more proud of them, the decision they made, the way the serve and that I get to do life with them. What a blessing. What joy.

Washing Wounds

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Often times we’re all concerned with healing hurts and watching them disappear. I worry sometimes that proper care is over looked. When it’s physical, we have pretty good indicators on progress. When they’re emotional, however, we all seem to be in a hurry and there’s no tangible way to say “hey, there’s still a gaping wound there – slow down.”

The Homeless Outreach Team was out a few Fridays back and a woman came stumbling toward the table we set up at Hollywood and Highland, our regular location for providing resources. She collapsed about ten feet from us. Sadly, this is not something out of the ordinary. She began to take off her shoes and then her socks. What I saw next will be burned into my brain for ages.

She had a diabetic ulcer a 1/4 of an inch deep and nearly 2 inches wide on the bottom of her foot. All that was there was red, raw, irritated meat. And she was now dabbing it with her dirty sock. I had to turn away to stop myself from crying and, if I’m being honest, throwing up.

My mother would get diabetic ulcers on the bottom of her foot. They ended up amputating because of it. They’re hard to heal and hard to keep clean. In a case this severe I really didn’t know what to do. So I prayed. What God ordered my team and I to do seems wildly unreal looking back, but we did it. And we’re better people because of it. We went over to meet Rachel, the woman in pain on the street. She was crying and upset, obviously, but still so kind and thanked us for acknowledging her.

She thanked us for acknowledging her. I still have difficulty wrapping my brain around that.

We asked her how we could help and she asked for new socks. Of course this would be the night we had run out. We had literally seen almost 50 people at the table by this point in the evening and were out of nearly all our resources. One of the team members was generous and ran into a store to buy her a new pair. Before that, however, came the most Christian act I have ever seen and will probably remain as such for some time.

God told us to wash this woman’s feet. Ulcer and all. We had the tools on hand to help her, but it was up to us to humble ourselves enough to be used by God, his mercy on this woman and to reach out in a real way to her. We had soap, bottled water, a wash cloth, bandages, alcohol wipes – we had everything we needed to help this woman, at least briefly. And so that’s what happened. On the corner of one of the busiest streets in America, we washed her feet.

She cried, she thanked us. We prayed with her and over her. She cried some more. It wasn’t long before she felt better. It was so fast it made our heads spin. She was able to eat. She washed her hair and face with the water and soap and then she stood up to walk, as if to test this new reality.

This woman who had fallen over, crippled in pain with a tremendous hole on the bottom of her foot, stood up and walked… With a smile on her face, no less. She was happy. She was thankful and astonished by her own abilities. She sat down to eat more of the resources we gave her and opened a gift we had given her, a Treasures Bag from our friends atTreasures who reach out to women working in the sex industry. They put together small bags with gifts like lip gloss, eye shadow, a mirror or other items that remind them that they are loved, valued and purposed.

When Rachel opened this bag and started putting on the makeup you would have thought it was Christmas day. She was so happy. No tears this time, just joy and excitement. She took her time looking in the mirror as she applied the lip gloss and she smiled so wide and proud as she added the eye shadow. She laughed. She had a bona fide giggle fit over her reflection! We went back over to check on her and make sure she was alright and she said to us, “I’m so happy! I haven’t felt like a woman in years! Thank you so much for these!” as she held up the gifts.

We went back to the table, humbled once again. The impact of a gift so small, of items so many of us women take for granted was enough to bring all of us at that table to our knees. The transformation we saw in this woman inside of 30 minutes was a miracle. The team of people that were used by and needed by God, for God, to reach her was a miracle. What was unlocked in that woman because of willingness, a servants heart and generosity is just astounding.

I’m proud of my team. Daily, I’m thankful for each and every one of them. I’m thankful that God loves me enough to restore me through this Ministry and that He trusts me to be a part of His stories. I’m thankful for all of the people, including organizations like Treasures, that support us and help us to reach the people on the street. Not just to offer them water and food, but to offer them hope. We reach their hearts, we get to speak to their souls. We get to wash wounds. We get to tell people that they are loved.

I am so thankful.

Jessica & Christine

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I don’t post photos of the homeless teens I work with because I feel it’s exploitation and an invasion of privacy, but Jessica and Christine, the 2 girls I mentor asked me to share this with you, their story and their gratitude for what your donations have meant to them and how your generosity has affected their lives.

Jessica’s mother abandoned her when she was 4 years old – left her so that she could pursue her own addictions. She was passed around to abusive foster homes and eventually “aged out”, becoming homeless at 18. Christine came from a large family and at the age of 14 her father asked her to leave because he could no longer afford all of the children and as she was the oldest, he felt she’d have the best ability to survive on the streets.

Jessica has been working odd jobs off an on to pay for her cell phone, storage locker, food, water, clothes and occasional nights in a motel for safe rest and showers. Christine has been receiving tutoring and taking tests to finish her GED. She now just has the math portion left before she’s done and will then be applying to culinary schools.

They are so thankful for what our Friday Night Outreaches have meant in their lives and that there really are people who care – who want to know that they’re safe and progressing. It’s because of you that there are so many stories like theirs to tell – stories of victory occurring and battles being won. This isn’t an easy thing to walk out, to overcome poverty and homelessness. Every little bit of love and encouragement counts when they go day to day being told the opposite, that they’re worthless and losers.

Thank you. To everyone who has donated time, money, resources and love. I will never be able to fully express what it has meant to me and to the people my team is able to reach due to your generosity. Today I got to have an early Easter brunch with them and they stressed just how much it has meant to them to have people like you rooting for them.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I love you. THANK YOU. And if you’re able, please continue to donate. You can use our Amazon wish list or you can also send care packages of your own, just message me for an address. THANK YOU!

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